10 8 / 2014
08 8 / 2014
06 8 / 2014
Be a good friend. When your friend leaves an abusive relationship, delete/unfollow/unfriend their abuser. Don’t give them anymore activity. When they leave, leave with them. Be their support system. You cannot be neutral when someone was abused.
I don’t get very personal on here very often but this is so important. Back before I met my husband I was in a pretty abusive situation with a guy for two years. I had been trying to break out of it for about a month, but here’s the thing that never gets said, breaking out of an abusive relationship is really, really hard. And scary. And emotionally devastating. Some abusers, and mine was particularly good at this, do this thing where they socially isolate you. Your abuser becomes the only person you have in your life. Then there’s the fact that they’re not abusive 24/7, he would spit on my face, in public and then a week later he named a star after me. (sidenote I had someone say at the time that I was so lucky and that he was so romantic and they wished someone loved them enough to name a star after them)
So I met this girl in one of my classes named K (who is still my friend to this day, I was one of her bridesmaids, she was one of mine, her kids call me Aunt) She was living at home, I was living at home so we decided ‘let’s be roommates.’ At this point I had managed to stay broken up for a week with this guy. One night she was over my house, we’d had a pretty awesome day of looking at apartments and just hanging out. I forgot how much fun it was to just have a friend to hang out with. Then he called me. He was so so sorry. He would change. He wanted to take me out and buy me books, having her there made it slightly easier to say no. I was still sobbing. She held me and told it I was doing the right thing. Then he showed up at my house. She opened the door.
"Can I talk to Lynda?" He asked.
"No." She said, and closed the door in his face. That is the story of how K saved my life because if she had not been there I honestly don’t know what would have happened.
Support your friends. If she’s ready to get out (and being ready is important don’t shame her, that’s how I lost so many friends to start with) then do everything in your power to help her.
05 8 / 2014